Silver figures he has always been on his own really, and doesn't want to burden any of the people he's close to with whatever this is. "Start living" being synonymous with "start over" in a sense, at least for him. All of those things were in the past, weren't they? They couldn't hurt him anymore? He is in the present, where things were finally starting to settle down and he could finally start living his life. All the problems in his life suddenly seem much simpler, so simple in fact that he shouldn't even be bothered to worry about them. Much lighter than they have in a long time. All he knows is that after the initial hard drop-where he cries for what feels like hours, until his eyes are puffy and his throat is raw-things start to feel lighter again.
Though it's clear that regression is something of a soothing balm for him, even if he isn't sure what's happening to begin with. There was no real trigger the first time he dropped, no sudden event that made everything come crashing down, but rather it was the result of years of uncertainty in his life having built up until there was nothing left but for it to come crumbling down. His anger leaves him burnt-out and emotionally wrung-dry, leading to a break that results in him regressing for the first time. But this sort of destructive approach to life can only last for so long until it burns you up, and for Silver it inevitably does. Wasn't he good enough? Why had his father not tried to find him if he knew about this neo branch of Team Rocket? Was he not loved? A child's whole foundation is built on if they are loved, so is it really all that surprising that when that foundation is nonexistent he became lost? And since he was left without guidance, this anger at the world grew into a defense mechanism-nothing could ever hurt him again if he hurt it first. He's angry and hurt and all of these other ugly emotions that threaten to consume him because of these fears that plague him. Silver has a lot of issues to work through, to say the least being kidnapped by Mask of Ice at age two and spending years at his facility, learning from Lance about Mask of Ice's plan to control time, stopping aforementioned plan and going on a journey to find his parents only to discover that his father is the head of (the original) not-so-legal organization Team Rocket? Yeah, it goes without saying that all of that would create some trust issues and leave him with some lasting trauma. With Renjun, you did have fun, but it was different to what those two or Jaemin and Jeno would have you do with them time with the smallest of the bunch consisted mostly of watching and keeping him company while he created art – every decoration you had in your humble abode and even at the hideout was made by him from scratch, with whatever he found on the island talking with him was also one of the best parts of your day together, but you didn’t need to do it only a day per week. The days you spent with Chenle and Jisung were the most fun, more often than not you’d end up hanging out with both of them instead of one, and it was practically guaranteed that you were bound to come home covered in dirt, water, or leaves – depending on where they dragged you, all of that together. The days didn’t matter, since it was fairly easy to keep track of who hadn’t gotten a day with you given they were six – despite your forgotten hostility, having you and Mark do something like that was still out of question the boys hadn’t forgotten how badly he hurt you, and if there was something they could not let go of, was their sense of protection towards you. you always find yourself getting both your holes while you fuck your own fingers in and out of your mouth, spit spilling out of your mouth and covering your fingers. he lives out his nastiest fantasies with you online, he jerks himself off watching you under his command. he goes home and searches you up himself on the camgirl website. doyoung leaves promptly with the information he needs. your soft moans fill the room alongside the sound of donations. “cherrybunnyblossom, can you flip over and show us your ass while you fuck your pussy?” you read out. you’re sat in front of your laptop bouncing on a pink dildo to match the lights in your room. your room is dimly lit with pink led lights and as doyoung slowly opens the door just to peer in on you. he quietly stashes the groceries he got for you in the fridge before making his way quietly up the stairs. no one else would be better for the job right? he dropped in later than normal one night because of work and he heard sounds of tossing and turning expecting its you getting comfortable in bed. so your parents tasked doyoung with taking care of you. one summer your parents had business to tend to a few towns over. Doyoung: you and doyoung were known as the cute neighbourhood kids hopefully to grow up and get together.
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